Canadian Tourism Board names NYC family worst visitors of 2012

The Tarpley family of New York City received a special citation by Canadian officials after a five-day trip to Montreal in which they complained constantly about how cold it was in July, how bad the croissants tasted, how much the children's museum sucked, and the fact that Canadian currency featured the Queen of England. "They couldn't find a single prominent Canadian?" asked Jennifer Tarpley, loudly enough to be overheard by locals. "What about John Candy?" offered her husband, Todd. Sons Samuel and Ethan enjoyed reciting inappropriate phrases in faux French accents, but Canadian officials were less amused. "For their information we do in fact have our own government," sniffed Prime Minister Garry Trudeau. "Bacon is not our primary export, the metric system is not a ploy to overcharge for gas, and no, we do not appreciate being referred to as 'hosers.'" The Tarpleys were not on hand to accept the award, as they cut their visit short by a day to return to civilization.