Tarp Street Journal: UWS family embraces fiscal cliff

An Upper West Side family claims it is within thirty days of financial insolvency, but adds that this has been the case since 1990 and nothing bad has ever really happened. "We're always a paycheck away from declaring bankruptcy," explained Todd Tarpley of Manhattan. "Fortunately some bank is always willing to give us another credit card or re-fi, so--hey." His wife, Jennifer, agreed. "Could we tighten our belts and sharpen our pencils and actually get serious about balancing our budget?" she asked rhetorically. "Sure--but if there's one thing this recession has taught us, it's that there's never a bad time to take more equity out of your home."

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Todd's parents, Bill & Dorothy Tarpley of Scottsdale, Arizona, went somewhere exotic like Thailand or Montana this year, we vaguely recall. Hard to keep track.

Jennifer's parents, Lynn & Carol Kemp of Prophetstown, Illinois, visited us in September. Carol lovingly sends us letters almost every week, to which we don't respond.

Todd's brother Brad and family of Durango, Colorado are apparently still living there, but it occurs to us that we haven't actually seen them since 2009.

Jennifer's sister Julie and family of Prophetstown, Illinois--ah, we did see Julie this year, and we think she mentioned something about her son David getting married.

Todd's sister April and family of Woodland Hills, California are planning to join us for the holidays in Scottsdale. This will give them a chance to relax and enjoy time with family prior to stocking up on survival gear and seceding from the Union.

Tarp Street Journal

UWS family embraces fiscal cliff

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